excerpt from "0" wasawas © 2010, 2011
I wonder “Is it any coincidence that those who reject their fathers reject God?”
How Long Will This Last?
“Come on. Do it for old time sake. After all you’re going in the Army tomorrow.”
“Trust me.
Gods walk through time by way of Solar and Lunar Eclipses. The eclipses are the stained glass windows. If one attempts to be on the same wavelengths as “them” you are in danger of mental illness.
No.
1993 Lunar Eclipse:
The meshing of God’s eyes (eclipses) are tunnels for “them” to travel through. Time has no meaning for “them.” “Them” has many names. The mental illness comes when you try to know the ways of “them.” Your mind gets scrambled with scenes of the past, present and an imagined future. Your life becomes one constant uncontrollable hallucination.
I was her savior and she was my everything. Reckon, there ain’t no need to explain why. Cuzz’ you probly’ have felt the same way. We lived on the main street of Wiggins Mississippi. The street parallels Highway 49 North. Surrounded by banks, the police station, and a 24 hour gas station. Our home was a 1960’s hotel converted into six apartments. Two hundred dollars a month rent got you walls so thin that you could inconveniently know your neighbors business. Also you get their company (insects that were mostly roaches that came through the cracks in the wall).
For the past few days she had spent much of her time reacquainting with an old friend. Had got back in touch with him while we were on one of our dope hunts down on the Coast. I was very jealous. But as long as she put it on me, every couple of days, I let my jealousy subside. A couple of hours ago she tells me about some kind of cool feast party thang’ going down on a vacant lot near The Rock N Roll Graveyard. I wasn’t with it. Yet, she was a master of persuasion. Especially after putting it on me.
Footnote: The Rock N Roll Graveyard is located on a back road near Saucier Mississippi. It is a regular cemetery given its name by stoners. Allegedly, there were witchcraft and satanic rituals held there.
Catrina took me to visit her friend Haven. We were smoking up the rest of that quarter sack traveling past the cow fields. I remember that cuzz’ of “Ya’ know babe in the morning we could make love among the cows and mushrooms.” Yep, eating magic ones with a full orange head and a black line in the middle; looks like those ones that make Mario super in The Mario Brothers video game.
I was opening up my fourth of the six of Red Dog by the bon fire. Read inside the bottle cap (read “YEAR OF THE DOG”).
“Catrina.” He says with an obvious put on trying to be mysterious tone. Uncomfortably, it charmed her. “Oh hey.” They take a 3 second hug-yea, just long enough for this guy to feel my girl on his chest. I suck down another one; chain smoking to pacify. He’s manipulating their conversation with all the mentions of all their intimate “high moments.” Out of no where a crowd circles us.
“So uh Cat…who’s your man?” He said with a fake comforting tone. Obviously, trying to distract us. Or me?
“This is John.” She squeezed my hand so hard to reassure me-Damn I LOVE HER-LOVED HER-OH WELL. “Sigh.” Deep drag on the community joints being passed around. I was part of the crowd-Thinking of it NOW-they probly’ were years ahead of the “cool goth kid” look. Had on Black leather with the protruding spikes, the chain wallets, and the trench coats-“Gotta’ show” Normal voice tone “two of you the house. Or the Haven.” Cheesy mysterious voice. I thought I heard “She’s the one.” Somewhere from the crowd. Yet I dismissed it to the paranoid high. The weed smelled like burning flowers.
The house looked like a barn that was built in a hurry out of pieces of wood found on the side of the road. There were jagged wood pieces on the top and the bottom of the entrance. “The mouth of madness.” Cheezy bastard. Thousands of candles and lanterns were used as lighting. Seeing so many people compact in there I thought we were literally in a roach motel. People playing guitars, people making out, people playing chess, people passing bottles, people passing joints.
“Still play Spaids, Cat?”
So there the three of us were in a closed up smoking room-
…missing text…
“The time is Now.” A cheap PA system rattled like a blown set of car speakers. They all knew to go to the center of the house. The center had a two story church. A church desecrated: up-side-down crosses, spray painted pentagrams, rotted goats heads in a circle around the foot of a spiral stair case. In the holy water fountains there appeared to be blood. The people resembled ants in the sugar as they made their way up the stairs. I wanted to run.
“Catrina.”
“It’s okay.” Haven wrapped his arms around our shoulders. He continued, “There’s no need to be frightened. You are just feeding off of lost negative emotions.”
“But.”
“Take another look.” Sure enough when I looked again it was a normal looking church house. No blood, no pentagrams, no upside-down crosses. It did have a stained glass inner dome ceiling. We looked down to his pulpit from our pews. I counted a hundred and seven of us.
“Welcome to the dawn of a new era. Upon the Creation we had chaos a Harvest Bloody Red MOON SHINED TO THOSE WHO FORGOT NOT THE UNITY OF THE ANCIENT ONES AND THE OLD ONES. DARKNESS MY CHILDREN OF CHAOS, MADE A PACT WITH LIGHT.
I was there WHEN THE MAN OF GOD WAS STABBED IN HIS PALMS AND FEET.”
Knew deep down that something was wrong. Very wrong. I squeezed Catrina’s hand. Knowing what I know now-IT WAS HIM-and he had grown powerful from training himself in crazy houses. How did he get out? That was the mystery. And it still is a mystery.
There were a handful of black robed ones. They reminded me of professional sport vendors-they passed out silver chalices, to all of us, that were filled with a strange crimson colored fluid.
“FEAR NOT BE EXCITED THAT YOU.” He paused and hit his podium double fisted and slowly the platform he was on began to rise. “YES YOU CAN HAVE THE POWER I AM YOU.” “You are mine.” He whispered. “REJOICE REJOICE. FOR WE ARE ON THE DOOR STEPS OF SALVATION. Some of YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED BY YOUR PARENTS. SCOFFED BY YOUR FRIENDS. PUT DOWN BY YOUR TEACHERS. YOU ARE! DO NOT KNOW WHAT MEANING YOUR LIFE HAS.” The weed made me thirsty and I needed to drink.
“YOU ARE THIRSTY! THIRSTY! THIRSTY!” I became frightened. He had somehow trespassed my thoughts. His podium stopped rising. Leaving him at eye level. I squeezed Catrina’s hand harder and harder seeking her comfort. An arm comfortably rested on my shoulder and pulled me close. Haven, “I know it’s scary. Don’t worry. We will keep you safe.”
All went BLACK. A crackling sound like a record player. Sounds seemed to swirl-a blasphemous whirl (World) wind. Clumped, like raw eggs, sliding down my throat. Hundreds of candles lit up. Red drops, on my shirt, dripped from the corners of my mouth. I looked to my side. Catrina was lip locked to Haven. NO OH NO. Squeezed my hand tighter. Haven was gone-I had HALLUCINATED again. i had hallucinated again.
“WE welcome The Fellowship of THE RAIN TO US TO YOU TO ME THE HARVEST MOON. YOU ARE CHRIST. I AM CHRIST I, you will not leave, WAS THERE COLLECTING THE BLOOD OF THE SON WHEN THE SUN TURNED RED I TRAVELED THROUGH GOD’S EYE AND WHEN MY TEARS FELL SO DID GOD’S RAIN-It IS WE HAVE BECOME…”
…missing text…
Fire went higher and higher. “they us verses Them-THEY BURNED THE THINGS THAT MADE US WHO WE ARE. NOW WE BURN THE THINGS THAT THEY TRIED TO USE TO MAKE US ONE OF THEM.”-as they threw Bibles, Torahs, Qurans and any thing else that related to religious matter.
“Man, there was something in the kool-aid.” I mumbled in an attempt to escape through humor. My body felt immobile by my senses becoming confused. Smelled the colors of the fire, I tasted the heat, I heard the eyes looking at me.
I felt the tribal like mask that a few of them wore. Their numbers were growing. While they were dancing around. “This is a great party.”
“I’m glad you. Oh I mean all of you enjoy it.” My jealousy forced me back into reality with Haven’s voice. Yea, he was going to steal her away from me and there was nothing I could do. The remorse gripped me. EVERYTHING WAS WRONG. THEY ARE OUT TO GET ME. I AM GOING TO DIE. “Relax my friend. All is well.” It was him. When he spoke to me and kindly placed his hand in mine. I felt better because this leader, who all of them looked up to, thought enough to show me attention.
…MISSING TEXT…
The Spiral of Ten Spheres-they had their bongo drums-3 per circle-a tiny circle of people closest to the fire. A bigger circle of people around them-They Summoned…from the fire. “Now NOW THE DARKNESS COMES.” The drums go to a murmur. He stands in front of me. Perhaps, with Blasphemy he had his arms in “the crucified” position-and when he lifted his head toward the sky silence ushered in the Eclipse. Darkness ate the moon. The flames rose-a light piercing the clouds-time with no meaning. THE FLAMES ROSE. THE MOON REAPEARED after consuming the blaze.
The sky breathed, exhaled the flames, relighting the bon fire. Among the circles of people, were trespassing flames. The Spirals were on fire. The bongo drums played LOUD AND FAST.
Clothing was being thrown into the fire. I looked for Catrina. “Save me. My love.” My words casting a spell echoed through time and space (The Links Surrounding Divinities).
SEPTMEBER 11, 2005 2:05 AM WILLOW DRIVE GULFPORT MISSISSIPPI :
A MIGHTY WIND (The World Wind) came through the open windows. So powerful was the wind that blew out all the candles welcoming the darkness of Void.
Lunar ECLIPSE 1993:
“Save me my love.” I was alone by the dead fire. Smoking burnt clothes meshed with the burnt religious relics. The full moon (God’s Night Eye) pierced ALL. All of me. The truth overcame me. A truth I still do not know. My stomach roared and tightened. The fluid I had drank was stuck. Vomit stuck in my throat. “Love. Save me. My Love.” I, I, i I ran inside the large house.
They were all nude groaning, breathing, screaming, laughing. It was an orgy. I started puking when I saw her with “him” and Haven.
…MISSING TEXT…
“Put him in the back.”
WASSAWASAW
“But, he told us not to.”
“I don’t give a fuck what he said. The guy’s making my truck smell like puke!”
The beat up truck pulled over to the side of the inner state (I-10). They man handled me. Threw me in the back (bed) of the truck. The moon was replaced with the rising sun. There were five teenage girls tied together with ropes. Stained wool blankets covered their nude bodies. Their eyes were glazed over. I couldn’t quit vomiting into a five gallon bucket.
Off of the beaten path. Passed through back woods I had never traveled. I remembered seeing the New Orleans Saints symbol with big white lettered “Louisiana Bourbon Street . Routes that no one could remember.
-didn’t know if it was me or the smells of Bourbon Street sins. We were in an alley. So ugly with things like trash strewn every where. Broken bottles. Stray dogs and stray cats roaming. Definitely escaping the attractive allure I was reminded of when I saw the Pat O’Brian’s sign.
There was a bald headed dude with spikes coming out of his face. “Okay Kevin, what we got today?” raspy voice.
“We got five of em?”
“What about puke boy there?”
“Naw, he said to take him along for the ride.”
“No worries. Don’t think the boss is in the mood for a boy toy.”
“I really don’t think we should talk about this anymore in front of him.”
“Yea.”-with that they dragged the teen-aged girls, like cattle, into an ajar garage door.
…MISSING TEXT…
I remember…
-I REMEMBER-
I remember him giving me a pack of Lucky Stripes and a 32 ounce of Red Dog. Inside the Red Dog beer cap read “FOLLOW.”
Footnote: Dog-used to be overcome by my addictions. I used to roam the streets with the relentless Summer sun blazing down bleeding the alcoholic vapors from my pores. It didn’t matter how nice I dressed when I went inside places looking for a job I always got rejected. I looked sick with yellow pale skin and I stunk of my self destruction. The writing inside those Red Dog beer bottle caps I believed to be my personal horoscopes. This was back in the good ole’ days when a six pack and a pack of smokes was $5.00.
Learned after ten minutes of being in the bed of the truck going seventy five down the inner state that I could not smoke. Had to empty my puke bucket and use it to light my cigs. Drank the Red Dog so I could have something on my stomach-made me puke more. Couldn’t pacify my mind from the fear of what were they gonna’ do to me. Where were you My Love? Hearing them laugh at my expense while they played deafening Death Metal made my paranoia worse.
“GET OUT YOU FUCKING LOSER!” I was frozen in fear shaking.
“I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE TRUCK!” slung me to the ground violently. Felt the stings of the beating he gave me. Tasted vomit, blood, and the dirt of the ground. “Fucken’ waste of air.” With that the truck sped away.
Looking up (was) saw a line of em’. I remember the sign: the white cross beneath it read “FEED MY SHEEP.” The worker opened the shelter and the homeless crowd bombarded the door. Scurrying to get in first. They stepped over me. “someone please save me.
His car was big and new. Smelled the new car smell when he opened the door. The smell lingered in the air for a few seconds after he shut the door. I saw his car tag “GOD1”. Surely he would pick me up off the ground. Walked right passed me. Maybe, he didn’t see me.
Felt and squinted (my eyes stung).
FIVE
Minutes after he walked in the door those who walked in were hastily walking out. Started hearing dogs bark “Come on man.” Unseen hands were lifting me up.
“You need some food, man, and they’ll feed ya’. Let ya’ sleep. Give ya’ a place to stay. All you gotta’ do is play their game.”
“Huh?”
“Yea man, when they take ya’ to the backroom just start making up words. They’ll think you’re possessed by the devil and they’ll take good care of you. Go to the meetings. Go to the services and when you get tired of being here ya’ can just leave. But you can always COME BACK.”
“COME BACK?”
come back
…COME BACK…
Their entertainment room had one huge television. Only had two channels: Fox and Trinity Broadcasting Network. Seemed like the 1960’s Batman television show staring Adam West was constantly on.
: WILL OUR HERO REGAIN HIS SANITY AND ESCAPE THE BRAINWASHING SCENERIO IMPOSED UPON HIM?
WILL HE EVER BE ABLE TO FUNCTION AS A POSITIVE CONTRIBUTION TO SOCIETY? OR WILL HE BE DOOMED TO LIVE HIS LIFE INSTITUTIONALIZED?
-FOR THESE ANSWERS AND MORE TUNE IN NEXT WEEK…
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