notes byrning XIX © 2015 (Woman in a Bottle)

And in trying to keep em’ I’ll do all sorts of things, like learn how to slow dance, dig chick movies, lifetime channel, listen to cheesy bubble gum hacked music (mostly love songs on the top 40).  purchase Can A Woman Make A Man Lose His Mind?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

What was I to do I took two pills to get me high? I had to leave for rehab in two hours.  

purchase my other e-books here

The chemist mindset came next. Went to the PX bought some Certo (fruit and vegetable preserver) and cranberry juice. Mixed it and drank it down quick. My squad leader came for me. Drove me all the way to Addictions Rehabilitation department in Norfolk Virginia. Had to stop four times on the way. My genius concoction had given me the Hershey squirts (diarrhea). I was so scared of getting busted. And it showed in my mannerism to the staff at ARD. All they gave me was a breathalyzer. Another patient there, an Army Ranger, spread the rumor that I was high from morning glory seeds. They had us read Adult Children of Alcoholics, and the Alcoholics Anonymous text (Big Book). We had to summarize the chapters. The group of six of us included the Army Ranger, and a private who got kicked out later for drinking Robitussin. We met three times a day. My peers really loved me in the group therapy sessions because I took up about eighty percent of the session talking/ whining. I was so pathetic and self-centered in my own miseries, crying and whining like a Jerry Falwell type of evangelist who got busted. Thus they didn't have to share. My fourth step in rehab was fifty pages hand written pages long.  They woke us up early for PT. At night they packed us in a van (druggy buggy) and took us to AA/NA meetings. After returning from the meetings we made phone calls. During this time I chose to do my part to build rapport with my family, especially my father. There were many late night black outs when I’d call him, from Korea, to tell him how much he ruined my life. It would be around 2 am his time. Many times I remember him sobbing.

                Then we had an assignment to get a sponsor. My first choice was a guy that spoke at an NA speaker meeting. When I asked him to sponsor me he told me that he wouldn't be going to meetings for a while because his ex-girlfriend would be there. I took note of that. Thus, I realize now, I had an insecurity that being romantic with any woman would lead to me getting hurt eventually. Like the ones I had affairs with who were active in their addiction-cuzz I didn't have to work hard to get these girls. I eventually noticed that there are some girls who will take you then leave you when they’re done with you. And in trying to keep em’ I’ll do all sorts of things, like learn how to slow dance, dig chick movies, lifetime channel, listen to cheesy bubble gum hacked music (mostly love songs on the top 40). I saw male and female form relationships in rehab. They got kicked out for breaking the rules. That’s a real no go in rehab. For it’s a major distraction to getting clean and sober because we focus on the relationship and not on our recovery.

                Then I met this gay dude outside of an NA meeting. Chose him as a sponsor. He let me know he was gay immediately. He was a pianist on contract with the department of defense.