100 Love Letters I'll Never Send (Neediness, emotional blackmail and such isn't conducive to a happy productive life.) (c) 2017

Mid 2017: (c) 2017

I have subjected myself to needless misery. In the past I have taken everything as personal insult. Why? I think I did it to protect myself from being hurt.

Not too long ago, I criticized online dating. Now that I am on an online dating site I think I have broken through lies I have told myself. I wonder if anyone else has told themselves these lies: There's no one out there for me. Why does this always happen to me? Girls won't like me once they know the real me.

I am discovering that people need people. I am going out with several different women and realize it's not a personal jab if we don't meet again. All it means is we just don't mesh well.

I must look at women like I would friends. Neediness, emotional blackmail and such isn't conducive to a happy productive life. When I told myself such lies I acted out on them. Thus came a self-defeating life style. My mind enacted my actions; to become the lies I had told myself.

How do I act now? Pray for guidance and do the best I can. Remember that failure is my best teacher.

_________________________________________

May 2001:

The shrink asked me, "Why do you associate death with love?"

...to be continued...


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