100 Love Letters I'll Never Send (Romantic Hostages and Emotional Blackmail) (c) 2017

I remember your Mom was moving. Was going to take you. I wanted you. Wanted you to be with me. Figured I could take care of you. Build us a life together.
Figured Love Would Find A Way.-

My father told me, “It’s a big world, son.” after I gave him the news that I was quitting junior college and building a life with you. Thought I knew better than him at the time. Now I see. He was 18 years old when he married my mother. Six months after marrying my mother, his father died, my mother was pregnant. My goodness. How did he keep it together?

They make jokes in those AA meetings. Fall in love in one week. Next week you moving in with them. That’s how it was with us. Should have been more of a man. I was getting money from my father and mother through emotional blackmail. That’s when you make someone feel guilty and they give you things. My parents were divorced about a year before meeting you. I’d tell them “You ruined my life Mom/Dad you ruined my life and they’d give me money.” They wouldn’t give me as much money after I told them I’d work to support us. Figured a thousand a month was good money back then. Of course, I couldn’t find a job at the first. Fortunately, for us you were still getting money too from emotionally black mailing your newly divorced parents.

Of course, recreational drug use was attractive to us. Like weed was a real drug anyway. Started off as weed. I started when my parents got divorced. The ‘kewl kids’ all did it. You know the type. They reached puberty, found identities in gangsta rap music. Then they started engaging in criminal activity. They had that get out of jail free card because they were minors. Some of them grew out of their criminal behavior. Others are burned out now. Some of them wishing they were dead. Joined to the infinete examples of started doing it then it starts doing you.
These ‘kewl kids’ I hung around made me their amusing mission. What would happen if we got the kid who had never even drunk before high. About into a year of my debauchery, I had barely graduated high school, and I met you.

Did the tolerance for drugs grew while our tolerance for each other did not?
Things change when you live together they say. Some folks think they own their lover. First, the insecurities came when you didn’t come back when you said you would.



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