honea byrne

They attend a special AA meeting, 'Couples In Recovery,' to ensure that they have a healthy relationship. "I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU JUST WANT ME FOR SEX!" She yells. Defensively her man bellows, "Oh yea, WELL YOU AIN'T AFFECTIONATE TO ME ANYMORE." We sat in chairs circling the chairman's desk. This is definitely a different format; not the regular AA meeting. This is "Couples In Recovery." I couldn't help but scrutinize the nine other couples that sat together. Imagining what sort of lifestyle they have. I've been in the honeymoon phase before. We were there once. Now this is round two of the honeymoon phase. Like the song says "Reunited and it feels so good, Reunited and it's understood"  Herb and Peaches . Maybe one can tell by the body language. The happy couples are holding hands tight. The problem couples have one or both of their arms crossed. Some of them are probably looking around wishing they could be w...

. ..tired of living like this. Holding on to things that I don't need anymore. It's like what the Bible says in Corinthians 13: 11. I'm not sure which came first. My trash making me feel bad; or feeling so bad that I trashed out my area. Used to say, "I'm mentally ill that's why." -and the trash inside/outside myself got worse. Of course, the other excuses came, "I don't feel like it now." "It's not that bad." Got so much in my floor it's blocking my path. I can't do this anymore. My thoughts that do me good are blocked. Put that stuff that came from ex girlfriends, and other things that have good or bad emotions attached, in a room I never go in. Following the fear is the chances not taken. I keep things saying I might need this one day. That one day became months, months became years. Therefore, it's important to remove bad things to make room for good things. It only takes about twenty minutes...

Previously: Who believes in second chances right? Our hero gets the girl. They're starting off pretty strong. After she puts her thang on him he goes to a temporary job agency. The impossible happens. He gets a temp job at the place where he used to work, Morningside Investments.                                                   I'm a block away. The sun rays are blinding. I've made this drive before. I know as I get closer the Morningside Investments building will block the sun rays. "Things are going well," I defensively answer my phone; ready to handle whatever negativity he, my AA sponsor, would try to trespass my mind with. "You cross that line yet?" He replies so coyly. "What?" "The line between drinking and life being unmanageable." ... ...a few minutes later I walk through the spinning door. I remembered what it was like when I first got a j...

November 8, 2016, I can talk about this now. While I sat Mr. Holmes casket, with a mind so broken, I kept reciting my handwritten Prayer of St. Frances. It was the only thing I could comprehend. My mind was against me. Why was the only thing I could fill my emptiness with was fear and anger? I had something to say. I am grateful I had the openmic to do it. So many things that you #SynergyNights allowed me to say. It was an intimate moment. You were oh so great wishing me well, telling others to pray for me. In that 24 hours of being by Mr. Holmes casket to putting him in the mausoleum this whole country; whole world changed.

…and here it is. Yet again, I’m thinking of you. So many things I did wrong. I can make up for it now, “My living amends,” I whisper to myself. Carmelita fell asleep in my arms. We’ve been back for about a week. It’s 1 am in the morning. I’m remembering again, “Love ain’t enough.” Yesterday, I woke up at 5 am to go back to Labor World. Yet Carmelita told me not to do it. She put that thang on me. She was emotionally feeding me, “We’re a team,” as she gyrated mounting me. “Oh yes, we’re a team,” I agreed moaning and whispering. “The world is ours,” she commanded as I lifted her up and put her on her back. The fears of pregnancy were quickly diminishing. When you feel so empowered nothing can stop you. This world is ours. Whatever deception, or problems, or lies, I have in my head can’t stop us. The American dream would be ours. She kept the house clean. Therefore, now my thoughts are better. You think a lot clearer with a clean space. We can put our lives in such diseray, as ou...

I think about a fella who proclaimed his greatness. He had the looks, the grit too. His chums thought he was great. He made demands and was refuted. I think he had a lot of the same thoughts I have more times than I'd like to admit. Thoughts like, "How dare you not give me my chance to shine! Don't you realize how great I am?!" ...and that fella didn't end up so well. They say he was kicked out and fell a long way down. Things ain't been the same ever since. You know who this fella is don't you? He go by many names. satan is one of his names. Is it any wonder that they say evil is all over show biz? On second thought, I'm grateful that you let me do my thang on your microphone.