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Showing posts from November, 2017

100 Love Letters I'll Never Send ( "We're so relieved you're a real man.") (c) 2017

After getting his final paycheck and being called by his woman, he decides to go get her. When he arrives he learns quickly this is not what he thought it would be. Into the woods, to the top of a hill, that’s like a mountain to us in Mississippi, I made it to the house. It was five in the morning. Was pretty large. Two stories; three if you count a sub level built into the hill. How could I ever measure up to all of this? It took about ten minutes for me to figure out that this was her grandmother’s house, on her father’s side. All the family photos, and the picture above the fireplace read ‘Momma’s Boy’ that had rows of her father with his mother. She was holding him at birth, as a kid, at graduations from schools. It took me all night to drive here. At the Alabama state line my car broke down. That had to be the Loh’Rd asking me, “Do you really want to do this?” Thirty minutes later it started again. Carmelita hugged me tight and kissed me. On the drive here she calle

100 Love Letters I'll Never Send (Is God listening?) (c) 2017

He had not heard from her in weeks. He almost had her ridden from his mind-that’s what he told himself. She called needing him, he had his last check in the mail from getting fired. “This has got to be a sign from God.” Is he delusional? “I’m going to go get her,” I said trying to sound like I was giving a command. Yet, he knew I was asking for his approval. “Oh yea?” “I got enough money for us to make a new start.” “Oh yea?” To be honest, I was looking for his advice. I knew this wasn’t a good idea. “Well,” he pauses. He’s playing a head game. The pause is enough for me to remember what he told me in the beginning, “ “First it’s going to be great. You are going to go on dates. She’ll say anything you want to hear. Bate you in. She’ll tell you that no man has ever made her feel this way. There’s that uncertainty involved. You don’t know whether the other one wants you are not. You’ll treat her too good, because in your mind, you’re making up for how bad you treated t

#100LoveLettersIllNeverSend (Special 50,000 views issue) (C) 2017

The majority of the posts from this passed year has been from 100 Love Letters Ill Never Send. It has been is good for me. I hope it has been good for you. Much of it I layered with Spirituality, It has been an emotional toll writing this. Reliving things. Don't get the wrong idea!  I am bonding with you. Talking with you. Hey you remember that time don't you? When you felt rejected. When you did that crazy thing to be accepted. That thing you regretted . Oh the things they said about it. Even worse the whispers or the looks they gave you.  ...now I got that all in my face. Thought it be kewl. And it was to see everyone from my old school days. Yet it made me realize I'm different now more than ever.  “…and uh, hey _________ I bought this for you. It was fifty dollars,” she said with glee holding that vile containing some kind of yellowish brown red thick fluid. She’s passed her prime wearing that black dress. Nice rack though. And surely I’m passed mine. At the spee

100 Love Letters Ill Never Send.(It's got to be a sign from God.. ) (c) 2017

“ You’ve gone from sixty thousand a year to sixty dollars a day. When you get out of this phase you really going to wish you would have gone on a few job interviews."   THE JOB INTERVIEW: “So you worked for Morningside Investors for fifteen years. That’s quite impressive." He talked on and on and I was sure to tell him what I did, and where I went. I fabricated the truth. I heard from some where that your past employer who fired you can’t give you a bad recommendation. It’s against the law. I was dressed in a custom-made suit.  I was prompted to take a couple days from Waste World via Labor Needs to go on this job interview after listening to a coworker, "I work three jobs just to get away from my nagging wife," he explained and we all laughed. I saw something in his eyes that told me otherwise. He was just there because he had gotten himself in some big financial pit he couldn't climb out of. That’s what it took for me to follow what my sponsor to