honea byrne

Left there on a new psyche med, geodon. This medication is also used as an anti-seizure medication for Epilepsy. Was told to take a benadryl to help me sleep. The stuff, geodon, gave me the shakes, like delirium tremors. When I drank coffee it made it twice as worse. Also had horrid side effects. I remember one day I was trying to explain integer operations. Went blind for several seconds in the middle of the lesson. While I drove, I got light headed to the point of almost passing out. She stayed by me. Had her on the, “He’ll fall to pieces with out me. ” Didn’t go out much. I’d freak out getting with paranoia and displaced anger. Enough became unbearable to her so she left me. I was crushed. Started going by her house during ,lunch breaks. One day… I begged and pleaded her to come back… That afternoon I called my sponsor. He took me to the courthouse. I was shaking uncontrollably. Was constantly telling anyone who would listen, “Do you think she’ll take me back?” A po

Started recording my own songs. Remember putting the mic into the head phone jack by accident and my laptop died. I was recording a song “Someplace to go” that a band I was in created-Dead Losers (Credence Cadavers). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6Uav7WeOZg  We never left the trailer park. Told Charles about it, “Dude, you need to go to the Blues Museum  http://www.deltabluesmuseum.org/ and learn ‘The Blues.’” Indeed, it was very humbling bringing my Krammer that I bought in Korea , 1999. Kids from eight to eighteen years old played Blues rhythms like second nature. Couldn’t even tune my guitar. Richard “Daddy Rich” Christman https://sites.google.com/site/daddyrichbluespage/ and Bill “Howling Mad” Perry http://artsnet.net/howlinmaddperry/  were the instructors (links) It costs me $2.00 a month. Children went for free. They were taught to play the Blues, then they were showcased at the open mic Thursday nights at The Ground Zero Blues Club http://www.groundzerobluesclub.com/ . Bl

Moved to Clarksdale with in hours of leaving the psyche ward. I was admitted for suicidal thoughts. That girl left me, my job fired me. Fortunately, Clarksdale hired me. First evening there roaches and flies came. I knew the devil was coming after me. Beelzebub is associated with flies  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beelzebub  Slept in the unmerciful Mississippi Delta heat with flies buzzing around my body covered in that blanket. The flies were just waiting to pierce my flesh and suck my soul out. Roaches crawled on me. Making their way from the smallest crevices. Learned in  Richmond  morgue that the flies and maggots gluttonously eat on dead flesh with the maggots. Gluttonously, they eat until they die. My step father, mother, and my new sponsor helped me move to that apartment on 2 nd street . Moved in on a Saturday evening, July 1, 2006. Couldn’t get electricity for three days due to the 4 th of July holiday. All I had was running cold water. My bath tub was one from the

Finally, I was over her. That was a great freedom. I’d beg and plead. She hung up the phone on me. I lost my mind, “I want my baby back,” was the only thing I could say. Charles tried to cheer me up reciting the TGIF commercial, “I want my baby back baby back ribs.” My old sponsor in Hattiesburg suggested I go to Memorial Behavioral Health. Wanted to get up out of bed and do things. Couldn’t do nothing. No eating. No sleeping, just chain smoking. She’d never answer the phone. Sent her two hundred dollars in cash. Was getting closer and closer to suicide. Took about a week to surrender to it and call him up in Hattiesburg . He told me what to do. Went to Memorial Behavioral Health in angst. Begging to be admitted. They wouldn’t admit me until the 911 ambulance. Fifteen minutes later I was taken to the emergency room of the hospital. My sister stayed with me most of the night looking after me. A nurse interviewed me. I told her almost my entire life history. Every other sentence was

In one week our hero learned that his girlfriend had overdosed and his job had fired him. What was he to do? Go back to his old ways by drowning himself in the bottle? Naw... What was I to do? Once again I sought out my college supervisor. She suggested that I call the Mississippi Delta since I had a grudge with the preatty school systems of the Gulf-Coast. Visited my girl at her sponsor’s house. She was asleep. It was all my fault. Next day at school I got on the web searching for AA groups and gyms in the same town as schools in the Delta. I called Panola first. Then I called Clarksdale . Within two hours the principal called me, “Mr. Holmes do you want a job?” “Yes Sir.” “I’m a woman.” “Sorry mam.” “That’s okay. I have a deep voice.” I was to report to Clarksdale in late July. My girl’s parents came from Ashville to take her back. That was the worst thing to happen to me. Or so I thought. My sponsor had me go to Alanon http://www.al-anon.org/ meetings-link She was