What was I thinking? (before performing) (C) 2015 6 Oct 2015
"I appreciate and am very grateful to have been given the opportunity to have performed in front of representatives of BMI and other professional music representatives. It was a blessing to have that type of exposure.
Damn it's so loud. Scares me. Didn't figure the line being this long this early. I don't even have a band. I am not ready for this. I know I don't have a chance. Maybe I should just leave. I'm already here. Feel like that guy who they feel sorry for so they grant favors. Let's clap for the retard. The joke is at my expense. So I figure, "Imma' save some souls tonight," I tell the peers around me. But do I really mean that? Teaching this long I have truly loved these kids as if they are my own. I remember that one in Clarksdale killing someone. Seventeen years old. He'll be in the system lost for a while. They put a red blanket over who he shot. Inside resources say it was gang affiliated and the police are in the gang too (Whether that is true or not. What's it matter?-rhetorical) America and the world has a trigger finger. Get you before you get me mentality. When I am recognized in public, especially every time I go Northbound on that Haunted Highway 49, yea I think I am sincere.
The content is good with lyrics, "Saw you and your crew jack that fool for his gold cross. What would Jesus do?" Yet will they even see that? Or will I just look like some guy talking into his mic desperately seeking approval. I've gone over these rhymes so many times that these lines are etched in my soul. Man, I got more issues than Time Life magazine. Now I am toward the front. Three people are in front of me. Now they are only allotting two minutes instead of three. I know that labels listen to only the first ten seconds of a jam anyway. Damn I just want to get this over with. Been here two hours now. The host announces that they are going to pause to have a panel discussion with famous musicians and major record company workers.
They tell me what I already know. It's all a numbers game. If I can get a good enough following I won't even need a label. I am also reminded that I have to have a good product. Dimly, I know my product isn't up to par. Have I ruined my chances by having lack luster material? If I turn off the would be fan by a bad impression I may not get em back. In a way, I don't care. This is what I do. And I'll be back again again and again till I get it right. They also impressed upon me the importance of networking. I been networking more at Comic Cons and such. Always promoting on social medias. Yea, you type in 'Honea Byrne' on google it looks like I am something.
Damn it's so loud. Scares me. Didn't figure the line being this long this early. I don't even have a band. I am not ready for this. I know I don't have a chance. Maybe I should just leave. I'm already here. Feel like that guy who they feel sorry for so they grant favors. Let's clap for the retard. The joke is at my expense. So I figure, "Imma' save some souls tonight," I tell the peers around me. But do I really mean that? Teaching this long I have truly loved these kids as if they are my own. I remember that one in Clarksdale killing someone. Seventeen years old. He'll be in the system lost for a while. They put a red blanket over who he shot. Inside resources say it was gang affiliated and the police are in the gang too (Whether that is true or not. What's it matter?-rhetorical) America and the world has a trigger finger. Get you before you get me mentality. When I am recognized in public, especially every time I go Northbound on that Haunted Highway 49, yea I think I am sincere.
The content is good with lyrics, "Saw you and your crew jack that fool for his gold cross. What would Jesus do?" Yet will they even see that? Or will I just look like some guy talking into his mic desperately seeking approval. I've gone over these rhymes so many times that these lines are etched in my soul. Man, I got more issues than Time Life magazine. Now I am toward the front. Three people are in front of me. Now they are only allotting two minutes instead of three. I know that labels listen to only the first ten seconds of a jam anyway. Damn I just want to get this over with. Been here two hours now. The host announces that they are going to pause to have a panel discussion with famous musicians and major record company workers.
They tell me what I already know. It's all a numbers game. If I can get a good enough following I won't even need a label. I am also reminded that I have to have a good product. Dimly, I know my product isn't up to par. Have I ruined my chances by having lack luster material? If I turn off the would be fan by a bad impression I may not get em back. In a way, I don't care. This is what I do. And I'll be back again again and again till I get it right. They also impressed upon me the importance of networking. I been networking more at Comic Cons and such. Always promoting on social medias. Yea, you type in 'Honea Byrne' on google it looks like I am something.
All the performers at #JXNLIVE were stellar.
I go back to the line and wait. There's a guy on stage doing an act. His lyrics ain't as powerful as mine. Where do I set my camera? Bout twenty minutes later I am on that stage. Not much of a crowd now. My lines ain't coming out right. I think they can tell and they cut me before my last verse, "Take em back to the Wild Wild West Kool Moe Dee, BDP My Philosophy, don't fall for the prison industrial complex. Teach the kids to read, cuzz they getting victimized saying cute catch phrases without knowing what they really mean." damn that sucked. Figured I'd have a house band. Shouldn't that give me some credibility to see that I can flow off any beat? Should have dug in my thousands of files, came up with a beat on cd for the dj. Oh well. It's over. Naw it is far from over. "I won't stop till I get what I am after." This was good experience. I need to play in front of bigger crowds. Think it was #William Faulkner who said that he learned more from his failures than successes.
Been trying to prompt Quadravion, a kid I teach, to come do open mics. Told him about this. Wish he would have come out. Wish any of those kids I teach or taught would have come out. You many youth what they are going to do when they graduate and they'll say, "I am going to rap." and or "I am going to be a musical producer." Through the internet they can down load software and make a beat within seconds and think they doing something. Guess what? Millions are doing the same. How will you stand out? So many brainwashed, so it seems, walk the hallways with their head phones in. They don't know much about reading or math. They can repeat every line though, and they act out on it and end up institutionalized.-Yea dreams are good. But you can only dream so long until you are zapped back in the real world where you are earning money for someone else dream.
-THINK ABOUT IT-
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