honea byrne

        originally written on  11-29-1998 copyright 1998, 2017                                                                                                         DEATH She sleeps with her back on the couch cushions. This helps her to to believe that she is being held when she is asleep. After a while, no one likes to dream alone. This world's roaring tones and our hopes sprinkled atop lost memories will bring us home... again-

It was  Friday, November 6,  2015 at the  Jackson  Convention Complex. Jackson live 2015 There were about four hundred musical artist, most from Jackson. All of them with hopes of winning the show. There were big shots there like Black Elvis and  Yung Joc. There was even a panel of record executives.  I got brave and did this performance. Click here to view . Damn, I watch it now. Not very stellar. I felt my best friend's spirit there with the rain pouring outside.    Seeing the rain helped my stage fright.   I knew him all my life. He died in 2014. He would keep me going and logical. I miss him. The reason I felt his spirit might have been because of this click here .  Charles' music When I left the event I was driving on I-55 and the rain got so bad I couldn't see the road. Said to myself, "DAMN EVERYTHING FALLS LIKE RAIN." I looked at my car ignition and remembered how I broke the ignition of the last car I owned by having to...

"It's what you do after the inspiration passes. You keep going and building that dream-that's discipline. ...and eventually you look back and smile when you realize that you have built something beautiful. The greatest feeling is that you are at peace-that's the gift of perseverance." I was so excited about new feelings, and led by new inspirations. The inspiration fades some days. More than I care to admit. I think of the universal examples: excitement when first having that job, that house, that car, that girl/boy. With me it's the starting on a creative work and completing it when I start. No matter the skepticism from peers, friends, and relatives. The curse I think of being creative is feeling things so intensively. So intensively that I haphazardly think others around me share the joy or sadness. Inevitably, they can't relate and I am on my own again until my actions inspire or reach others. That process is immeasurable in time-sometimes years...

Do you remember that day? When our eyes met my breath was taken away and my heart went faster. Then came your laughter that broke through my screams. Could you be the one? The girl of my dreams? I NEW. I knew you were the perfect opportunity. For me to do it as it should be. Maybe it was too much during those moments when I told myself "Don't change the way you are right now." Now as I realized my motives weren't manipulations to feed my fear, my wrath, my pride (3 of 7  deadly sins or Character Defects). For I might have said too much. I didn't tell you I missed you so that I could guilt a response. Didn't speak of self-pity to trap you and other tricks to take you emotionally hostage. Thinking about it in the 'eternal now.' I haven't participated in those behaviors in a while  toward anyone. Less is More before I say and do things I sincerely question my motives. Am I being driven by character defects. That is why I told myself and eve...

1996: It was the things I did when I was drunk and high. Some of us gave away our bodies, minds, and souls. I gave away my mind. Wasn't able to live. I was waiting on anything to reach me. Anything on the outside to save my inside. Waited on you to save me. What a burden it must have been to have you sheltering me. I'm sorry. While waiting on you I passed the time drinking, smoking, and injesting anything I could. When I reached a place of deceiving peace I would write, paint, do music. I also traded spiritual tools-used occultist works. Craft and being high doesn't mix well. What I did then I can't totally recall. Did things to get the gods to work in favor of me. The destructive things i taught myself to believe when for an hour or two a day when I was free from the blackouts. Thoughts that warped my mind. I see so lucidly now. When people were quiet I thought they were plotting against me. When I didn't hear from you. I knew you were with someone else. Did...

Sometimes You got a take a step back to take a Bigger Step Forward!  “Every time I go all the way down, to the Southern end, of that Haunted Highway 49, I take time to visit a special place in my past.” Over the years I kept everything I did. All the music, stories, essays, art, and poems. I must remember and embrace the lessons that I learned in that special place, ‘a personal hell,’ Your ‘personal hell’ may have been/is a jail cell, or a mental hospital, or maybe relationships, maybe jobs. Some of us have escaped, others are still there. ‘There’ are also our thoughts and memories that become our ‘personal hell.’ Started off doing it. Didn’t take too long for it to start doing me. …all the joyful things were gone. I gave these things away. All that was left was me hating myself. My ‘personal h.e.l.l.,' (here except LohRd’s Love) was a garage apartment on a dead end street. The walls and outside was painted with the same color of a dead body, pale green...

LENAE                           July 1, 1997 Of all the sights to see FEAR is just a fight to be free. Let us give thanx and praise one of our lies survives these days. On my shoulders wait of persistence. Why do you resist this. I am missing you. What else can I say or do? I am missing you. What else can I say or do? Never let you go. Never had the strength to let you know. Never took the time to look into your eyes. Tell you, you are on my mind. Then do you think we could give it one more try? If I saw the pain in your eyes maybe you'd give it one more try. We love We lie. Should I give it one more try? Time passes by. When can I see you again. Will it be the same. How much have we changed?