honea byrne

I was supervised by an older lady, she had a doctorate in education. I remember the few of us met at Gulf-Park campus in Long Beach . She was explaining all the policies and assignments. I was second guessing myself, and not understanding her. I acted out by asking too many questions and acting like the class clown. She took less than five minutes of that, “Be quiet and listen!” “I’m sorry.” “Be quiet!” I was assigned student teaching at Pass Road Elementary. The first day of seeing teachers yell directives to students mortified me. Reminded me of what they said in Hattiesburg , “Kids love school in the early years. Why do they hate it by the time they get to high school?” I started noticing beautifully anthem pictures on the walls. Were mostly, with a man/woman taking on insurmountable odds. Climbing mountains , running on beautiful roads, etc; with phrases like, “Don’t Give Up.” “The journey stars with one step.” Blah blah blah. Believe all that until you conform and have a boss...

I learned about what I call the 3 rd  Step Curse. The 3 rd  Step Curse is when there is a major event in your life that will empower you. Then something unforeseen comes that prevents you from doing that empowering event.  I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I had failed. Many in ROTC made a point to say hi to me. They were trying to comfort me. I still appreciate that to this day. I picked up a new sponsor from the Pine Grove meetings. Got closer with this chick I met in college. Only to have her break up with me Valentines Day. Supposedly, at the time I saved her from the angst of what she explained was an emotionally abusive boy friend. We became an item. Started writing on my second novel in recovery 2to1 . read it here It was very inspired by me finally coming to terms with letting my first girlfriend go. Link to book here. One of the best things to have happened to me was when my Sponsor had me go to an all female step study group. I learned about what I ...

The semester before the summer of 2004, I was very frightened that I would not pass ROTC camp. The supply sergeant informed me that it would be a cake walk. I continued to fail drills of land navigation and infantry tactics. One was on Camp Shelby land navigation course. I would get lost admiring the beautiful landscape. During the final week of the Spring semester my two front teeth, that I had lost before Kosovo and got back in Benning, gave me a tremendous pain. A pain in which I almost relapsed. Bob was by his phone 24 hours a day. I have not had a sponsor like that since, nor have I been one. He was there to calm me. Saved me. Saw a dentist. It cost me around $1200.00 dollars for that root canal and two temporary caps. That always fell out. I had my two teeth replaced about two week before leaving to Fort Lewis training LDAC (Leadership Development and Assessment course. Two days later I pulled my back out terribly at the Construction Battalion Navy gym. I was doing...

“Hey lover, are you naked?” is how the conversation started. Then came all the nasty things she was going to do to me. When she asked about my skin stick size, I told her there’s only one way to figure out, she hung up the phone. That’s a wake up call I’ll never forget. I got up, checked out of the Fort Lee hotel, and hit I-95 toward  Gulfport . Took 12 hours to get home driving non stop. They told me not to make any major decisions in that first year. This was impossible for me because, in six months, I had to make a decision to either discharge, or reenlist. I decided to go into ROTC. Totally ego driven it was. Figured I’d come back to the 54 th and run thangs’. Thus I started planning. Used two note books to write my plans, positive affirmations, contacts, and study work for the Praxis teacher’s exam. I had left USM (University of Southern Mississippi) on academic probation in 1998. Therefore, I had to get accepted under academic probation. I decided to continue to go ...

 Then I met this gay dude outside of an NA meeting. Chose him as a sponsor. He let me know he was gay immediately. He was a pianist on contract with the department of defense. He was a government contracted pianist. Had seven years of ‘clean time.’ His rock bottom was getting shot seven times when he was dealing drugs. Called him, family members and friends (including David’s mother) every night. When I graduated from ARD I heard my peers were not spared from the counselors calling them out. I remember all the patients, who had commenced, giving their academy awards speech. Thanking everyone who helped them in rehab. The Army Ranger colorfully compared his recovery to ranger missions. I was angry that my platoon sergeant wasn't there to hear my academy award speech. Therefore, I didn't give an academy award speech. Merely told them that I was going to use the tools from the spiritual toolbox that they had given me. Kept that chip from commencement for years in my ...

And in trying to keep em’ I’ll do all sorts of things, like learn how to slow dance, dig chick movies, lifetime channel, listen to cheesy bubble gum hacked music (mostly love songs on the top 40).   purchase Can A Woman Make A Man Lose His Mind? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What was I to do I took two pills to get me high? I had to leave for rehab in two hours.    purchase my other e-books here The chemist mindset came next. Went to the PX bought some Certo (fruit and vegetable preserver) and cranberry juice. Mixed it and drank it down quick. My squad leader came for me. Drove me all the way to Addictions Rehabilitation department in Norfolk Virginia . Had to stop four times on the way. My genius concoction had given me the Hershey squirts (diarrhea). I was so scared of getting busted. And it showed in my mannerism to the staff at ARD. All they gave me was a breathalyzer. ...

 I was in my barracks room listening to the Smashing Pumpkins album Siamese Dreams. The song “Spaceboy “verse “I wanna go home” took me back to spending time with my friend Charles, some of the best memories of my life, that I have been friends with since 1979. I started remembering us getting high together. Then I heard from the song “Sweet Sweet”  the lyrics  “We all want you to change.” This is what happened after being busted in the Army for being drunk on duty. I was on the Blotter Report. They put you on this report when you've done something really bad. Something bad that even the General of Fort Lee knew about it. Never knew, didn't want to know, what my blood alcohol level was. Knew if I wasn't drunk I would do my best to fight it. Knew if I was proven drunk on duty I would be utterly devastated. Furthermore, I knew I would probably be punished worse by the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice).  I remember being soothed into ...

Called her something like 30 times in four hours. Of course she kept the messages to remind me of why she quit me.  Found out the hard way that you will get in trouble for sharing your thoughts with strangers. One night I was at a private and his wife’s house with a private (who was a friend of mine) drinking her away. I made a lewd comment about her. Thus, the private, not a friend of mine, told her what I had said. She told our platoon sergeant. Much like times before I yelled at myself, “John WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO US?!”-while I told myself I did not deserve love, and it would just destroy me. (cut and paste can a woman Because of friend, testifying on my behalf, I barely escaped punitive action (Article 15). I was forced to go to the Mental Health Clinic.  CAN A WOMAN MAKE A MAN LOSE HIS MIND? my e-book in link check it out NOW http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23971280-can-a-woman-make-a-man-lose-his-mind?from_search=true About a month later I was sent to...