Notes Byrning LXI (“Will this be my last time to do something for the first time?”) © 2015

“Will this be my last time to do something for the first time?”

I thought over and over again. This thought command split my thinking in two. One thought of how ridiculous this all is. There were warnings back in the time of teaching morals. We had After School Specials, link commercials with frying eggs link to commercial to warn us about drugs etc etc redundancy-fun to do bad thangs’. Great, guess I’ll just die now. The other thoughts are childlike. Captivated by bright color schemes meshing with darker ones of that framed picture on the wall, “This picture freaks me out dude,” then he’d talk about the faces in the clouds and shadows. He talked about it so much. It’s his fault.

It’s his fault. It’s his fault. It’s his fault. It’s his fault. It’s his fault.

This is probably just my brain dying. What part  do I want to keep if I have a choice?

Maybe it depends on what I think now. I must focus.

“Did I do it right?” This isn’t the way I thought it would be.

“I may not be ready.” Betrayed myself too many times. Fail or succeed, no one does it right that first time.

“Our plan is almost complete.”