LXII Byrning Notes (I think I am better) © 2015

Rationally I fathom, for the dead don’t haunt their graveyard plots. No. it’s the living leaving behind their emotions and their thoughts. The living that mourned. Ghost haunt where they died. They haunt places where they had the most energy-be it joy and angst. They haven’t gone to that “other side.” … and the living that see that other side…be it coincidence that some of em are abusing drugs and killing themselves? They call it hallucinations. What of those with mental illness? There is no way, for most, to be successful or live in this reality and see glimpses of “The Haunted Realm.” Evil forces prey on the inexperienced, the vulnerable.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Never thought I’d get clean and sober in the US Army. When I went active duty, In January 1999, David and I were drunk out of our minds when the recruiter came for me. The recruiter had to hide me from all in the M.E.P.S. in New Orleans.

I was only having six months left. Was in my ets (exit the service) briefing. Was learning about all the things I needed to do going from soldier to civilian when some one thought it be kewl to fly planes into buildings. I was extended an extra year. In that year I went to drug and alcohol rehab. If 911 had not happened I may not have had the blessing to get clean and sober. Without being clean and sober I wouldn’t have done and be all I am now: a teacher, an entertainer, a good friend (I hope).

 ___________________________________________________________________________

This is the last entry.of  this autobiographical blog. I have already started on fiction works, to include Book II of Going Education. When I was in the M.E.P.S., (Military Entrance Processing Station) in New Orleans mid December 1996, they gave me options of jobs. Only jobs I could get with  38 on the ASVAB were Metal Works, Cargo Specialist, and Mortuary Affairs. Cargo Specialist and Mortuary Affairs both offered me $3,000. dollar bonus. I kept thinking my ex gal would get back with me. Maybe if I went active duty in a town close where she was she would…Thought the same when I went Active Duty. Also thought about how Mortuary Affairs would give me something interesting to write about.

I’ve always been a bit “morose” “touched” “crazy” etc etcetra. I remember before the drug abuse I went to a cemetery and was talking to the dead. Rationally I fathom, for the dead don’t haunt their graveyard plots. No. it’s the living leaving behind their emotions and their thoughts. The living that mourned. Ghost haunt where they died. They haunt places where they had the most energy-be it joy and angst. They haven’t gone to that “other side.” … and the living that see that other side…be it coincidence that some of em are abusing drugs and killing themselves? They call it hallucinations. What of those with mental illness? There is no way, for most, to be successful or live in this reality and see glimpses of “The Haunted Realm.” Evil forces prey on the inexperienced, the vulnerable.

When I chose Mortuary Affairs, all those years ago, I had no idea that I’d see so much death-know of it so intimately. Deaths in foreign countries, deaths in our country (911). Would have never thought close friends, and brothers/sisters in recovery NA/AA.

Years ago I was so wasted in that garage apartment watching ants eat roaches-I also wrote a lot. One concept I created was the acronym D.E.A.T.H. (didn’t everyone always tell him. How many of us were warned that if we didn’t change our ways we would die? Heeded not and many of us rocked stages-musicians. Had their best days in teenage years and their early twenties. There are indeed worse fates than death-so too many say. In a major way death was my salvation.

Never thought I’d get clean and sober in the US Army. When I went active duty, In January 1999, David and I were drunk out of our minds when the recruiter came for me. The recruiter had to hide me from all in the M.E.P.S. in New Orleans.

I was only having six months left. Was in my ets (exit the service) briefing. Was learning about all the things I needed to do going from soldier to civilian when some one thought it be kewl to fly planes into buildings. I was extended an extra year. In that year I went to drug and alcohol rehab. If 911 had not happened I may not have had the blessing to get clean and sober. Without being clean and sober I wouldn’t have done and be all I am now: a teacher, an entertainer, a good friend (I hope).

Well, that’s it…

I think I’m better now, Charles.