100 Love Letters I'll Never Send I’m in a psyche ward wondering where it all went wrong. (c)2018


I’m  in a psyche ward wondering where it all  went wrong.


I remember being told that according to King Solomon,  of the biblical scriptures, “You  always remember your first love, was told that by  my 9th Grade English  teacher, who wrote sayings of life on the Chalkboard everyday,
Now all I  can think of is the one that read,  “If you can describe love you’re not in it.

I’m  in a psyche ward wondering where it all went wrong.
 We’re seated in a circle in a small room. The therapist, is standing writing on a chalk board and speaking so commanding of what she writes. Feels condescending, “Triggers that make us feel bad.” In bigger letters she writes and says “What to think instead. What triggers you Narcissus?” 
“Narcisuss, what kind of name is that. I think just having that name would trigger me,” the whispering in my ear is coming from a guy named Lee. He calls himself Loose Lee. He says they call him that “...cuzz I was cut loose and had to get tight really quick,” I don’t know what the hell he means by all that.

Naricussus looks back at the therapist with eyes full of hatred. The therapist responds by meeting his eyes and then looking toward a huge security guard. We all know that game. They made sure to show us yesterday when a patient started talking violently two huge guys came held him down and shot him in the butt with that needle. Rest of the day he was in groups drooling uncontrollably.

“You had something to say, Narcissus?”
“Yes maam. I get triggered by my stupid parents forcing me to do things I don’t want to do. I mean working at menial jobs. I mean he’s full of money and forces me to work. Tells me I have to work to learn how to support myself. I mean none of my friends have to work. They’re in college. But my father refused to let me go back to college…” He’s very passionate explaining all the ways people and things in his life victimized him. The truth is; he got fired from his job at Gadgets Go because he was caught drinking and watching pornography at the job.

A psyche tech comes. She whispers in the therapist ear.
“Narcissus your parents are in the conference area.” She says.




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