100 Love Letters I'll Never Send (Waiting for the phone to ring...) (c) 2017

Sleeping alone is the hardest part. I haven’t had much sleep. Used to her by me. I come close to falling asleep at work. I look at the photo of her and I above my computer. I hate this. I thought I had something special now she’s gone. I look at my cellphone for the tenth time today. No call from her.

 “You got those reports ready,” the boss says passing by. 

“Yes mam.” I haven’t even started. My phone rings. Her.

“How come you haven’t called?” I ask.

“It hasn’t even been a day… They have the prettiest view of the sunset. We been looking for several houses. I think we found one in our budget… “ 

I want to ask her if I can come up to see her. It might be too soon. Maybe I should just let it go. I should be working. Yet if I hang up she may not call me back. There’s a lot of money on this project I’m doing for work I could get in a lot of trouble if I don’t finish it by tomorrow. I can finish it at home.

“It just doesn’t seem to be the same without you.”
“I know baby, I talk about you all the time to my parents…” Maybe now is a good time to ask. I veer away from my work to look up things to do in Virginia. "You know there's The Edgar Allen Poe Museum in Richmond. " I wait for her voice to pep up with enthusiasm. Get her to tell me to come up there. My fingers type faster. 

"They got the Shenandoah Valley. We could swim in the water falls."

"Uh. Um. Baby I got to go." She interrupts me then hangs up. 

Didn't even say she loved me. Is she breaking up with me? Has she found some one new? rt to set it up by talking about a couple of the things we did together.

I leave work as soon as I can to get to an AA meeting.



“They say not to get in a relationship for a year. I say get in one. Get it over with…” An alcoholic replies after I share about missing my Karoline.

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