100 Love Letters I'll Never Send (pictured perfect) (c) 2017

I've been granted another chance at love. Everything is coming together so perfect. We've been dating over three months now. To make this three month anniversary special I've decided to take her to a nice place. Been saving money to do this. It's going to be expensive-SHE'S WORTH IT.

Is it what is really going on?

Or, is it what I am told?

Am I doing what is told to me to do?

Are someone else’s words taking control of my life?

I wonder as the song  “Addicted to love” plays.

                                                “Your mind is not your own.”

“Have you put the report together?” Mrs. Stephenson enters into my office distracting my thoughts. “No I haven’t. I’m getting close.” I reply. 

"I want them by the end of the day.” She is always so authoritative. Likes to micromanage. She stomps away. I stare at the excel report on my office computer. Then I bring youtube back up and type some classical music in the search. I look at the blank walls of my office. Then I look at the picture of Carmelita and I, a trip we took to the Florida beaches. My arms wrapped around, snug, just below her breast line. Soon there will be pictures of our sons and daughters. There will be pictures of our big house. Yes my life is good now. In my coworkers offices there are always pictures of their families and significant other. Always wanted pictures of my own.

I work as much as I can to pass the time. Can’t wait to see her. This weekend we’re going to eat at a new restaurant. It’s upscale, looks like a huge house on stilts. It’s right over the beautiful beach. This place, The Coral, has been featured on the travel channel. People come from all over the world to eat here and to see the beautiful views of  the beach.

I pick her up Saturday morning. Her parents never come to the door. She always comes out. She was dressed in the same dress as the day when we first talked in that AA meeting. I think of the mistakes I’ve made with you, my love past, won’t make those mistakes this time. I open doors for Carmelita. Have flowers sent to her expectantly. Take her on trips where we build memories for a lifetime.

We hold hands as we walk up the stairs to the entrance. I pull the chair out for her to sit in. All the big shots of the Gulf Coast eat here. We’re around mayors, lawyers, and the folks who live in the two million dollar houses. They talk about trips to the keys, meeting movie and musical stars.

Now she’s very silent. On the three hour ride here we were talking about our future lives. It makes me uneasy. “Baby is there something wrong?”

A tear streams down her cheek. Did I do something wrong? Is she about to break up with me? My mind really takes it there in those few seconds.

“My father accepted a job in Virginia. We’re going to move next week.” She goes explains more with her voice cracking and whining.