honea byrne

Look at it like just a job 40 hour weeks. View it as a suffering to get money to achieve joy when I am not working? This option personalizes a synonymous with the Biblical Job.-More of that Job concept will be revealed later. Or Do I Choose to find meaning in it? To do God's will. Of which I pray every day, recently several times a day, the Alcoholics Anonymous third step prayer God, I offer myself to Thee- To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always! And if I look for ways that my Loh'Rd gives my life meaning, (Is a personalized meditation is seeking God's answers?) am I detaching from reality? Am I creating things in my mind that aren't real? Indeed I am learning thus far there is a systematic way that persons shape themselves...

Intro: This is about using a Black list candle to invoke vindictive harm on your enemies.But the character pays a price. The story had some chilling similarities to my real life. One can actually buy the candle in the story from a Memphis shop "Tator Reds." One can find this candle in many head shops and Voodoo Stores i.e. New Orleans... © 2007 Giving Light to Darkness and even shadows will Die.(word count 2,365) “Shadows will die.” “Shadows will die.” I repeated to my conscious mind in an attempt to think logically. After all, every logical mind deduces that ghosts and the like are not real. I came out on my front porch and lit my cigarette on the last flame of the Black List Candle. As the flame went out and I exhaled the smoke, they indeed, let their presence be known. They came as shadows without anything to cast them. There were nine of them. Nine for those I had blacklisted, those I had wished harm to. The electricity of the whole city had gone out. Their only...

The run on of emotions... Come back home four years later different than when I left. It seemed like another life before. I wrote about glimpses of it when I was emotionally rattled by my graandfather's death. In 2002 it was different: America had changed, friends had died, people who mocked me for how I was living before I left were now doing worse than me. I had seen more dead bodies than anyone should, I had gotten clean and sober, I had a car, I had money, and I had my creations (stories, music, art). Didn't want anything to deter me. Never want to go back to how I was before I left. This is what I started writing by hand 30 October 2000: Page 1 It was July 4, 2000 when Papa finally saw a doctor about a strange bump on his left side underneath his armpit. Much to my mother's and grandmother's dismay the doctor said it was Cancer. And he quickly deteriorated in weeks. I had a year and a half to go in the army. I was stationed at Fort Lee Virginia. My job w...

It was October 30, 2000 When I visited home from the US Army, to come to the realization that home would never be the same again. Seeing my grandfather dying of lung cancer really accentuated this realization. Possessed by the spirits (beer mostly), I wrote a few pages about all the emotions I was going through. Inspired by Charles Bukowski — Notes of a Dirty Old Man, and skilled with writing for over a decade at that point in time it came out pretty good. I didn't actually realize how good it was until years later.

I woke up this morning missing performing music live in Clarksdale Mississippi. Specifically, the positive feed back I would get that felt so fulfilling. My thoughts this morning centered around It's all over, I'll never have that again. For some reason I am very driven. Which a few years ago led me to purchase and rigorously study and apply Tony Robbins Get The Edge to my life. The heart break of an ex-girl friend also motivated me. She'll see how much I rock and want to get back with me. Right? No she mocked, laughed and ridiculed. As did many. I let my vindictiveness drive me. When that anger ran out it left me in great self doubt. Fortunately, my love to be creative brought me back to fulfillment-as it will again. Sometimes, it is not others bringing out the magic, it is the magic within you.

Well I'll make it big writing one day so why should I work a "real job." The world owes me... When disappointed with rejection it stifled (by choice) my creativity. When I sought to escape reality through drug use I found myself only to be inspired when I was inebriated. The dopamine flooding my brain artificially induced a spiritual bliss. Everything made sense. Thus my creativity flourished. Many artist have died seeking the high to make the ultimate piece. Years later some of what I discovered that what I wrote, music, photography, drawings I created were good. Most of it sucked. When I got clean and sober it was a blessing to find out that I could be creative without drug use. And also could get a natural high on what I created. A decisive implementation was being introduced to the book The Artist's Way by my counselor. Years later, I found myself in emotional angst and writing provided great self-therapy for me. While in this angst I too...

Thank you for reading my writings and supporting what I love to do. There are neurotransmitters, like dopamine, that go into the brain's pleasure center (nucleus accumbens)and keep us at healthy mood levels. When too many of these neurotransmitters are going into our brain's pleasure center we experience elevated moods. I am open minded to the fact that these are the times when I feel artistic, unstoppable, egotistic, and very philosophical. When not enough of these neurotransmitters get to our brain's pleasure center we experience depressive moods. I am open minded to the fact that these are the times when I feel hopeless, lonely, isolated, frustrated, humilated and paranoid. In both states I try to find reasons that are logical for me to feel the way I am feeling. When depressed I become the drama queen. "The boss didn't say hi to me at work he's going to fire me." "They didn't return my phone call. What did I do wrong?" "I feel...

...and in the meantime while waiting to make enough money off of my creative endeavors I work teaching at a residential treatment facility. Today I was in a therapy group that writes poetry. We were watching "The Dead Poets Society." I remembered a tale from another life. A middle class white family went and saw the movie "The Dead Poets Society" in the theaters. I remember a huge family fight after the movie. Then I remember the mother telling her son "I fear we're like that family in the movie." The overbearing parent verses the parent not being there. I ask you, "Which is worse?" It also reminded me of the PMRC banning music and the inevitable Freedom Of Speech controversy. My father tried to stop me from listening to certain music. John Denver stood up for the raw musicians who described violence and used much profanity. Years later, are kids killing one another after listening to violent music? Free will is such a intertwining pat...

I wrote my first time in first grade. It was so satisfying to write a book and be allowed to have it in the school library (Bayou View Elementary). I was very much influenced by the "Choose Your Own Adventure" series. I remember times after that in grade school vaguely. I did a lot of poetry and prose, and occasionally wrote short stories. By junior high my rhyme style was greatly influenced by rap rhymes. There was a great influx in rap, especially Gansta' Rap, in society. Much of my personal influence could have been influenced by my father taking out MTV and VH1 because of it's content. I was left with BET. Black Entertainment Television mostly showed Rap videos at the time. I would see images on television and act out on what I saw. sample: "Life is cheap people get lost on the street life's expensive the world's cheap." Like many I was more influenced, at the time, by pop culture more than by parents. In High School with my fascination o...

There has to be a way. In the mean time what do I do? I was always told growing up to get a real job. There is something inside me that makes me different. All of this difference inside me is creativity. I used to think it was just writing. Over the years I have manifested into my physical, mental/emotional and spiritual being. More on that later... It was acceptable once to blame, those I looked to for support rejecting me, as a way to get false serenity. Especially after high hopes that many of those like me get. We love something we create so much we expect someone else to like it to. We live on what we dream will happen: Riches, Fame, a life under our own terms. Then comes the rejection. Many of us quit. I have come to realistically see it as both exposure regardless, and those who quit leave more of an opportunity for me to succeed. What became of me years later conforming to another ones idea of what I should do? I got the degree after all, and now teach. While every day, I ...

What I said that got me hired at my latest teaching job. "These behaviors that children behave is not who they actually are." This is a statement I also used in my e-book. "Fearless." An excerpt is on http://youtu.be/QDyx4FiRImg

It seems like another life. Indeed it was when we were in love. And I know, yes I know I'll never see you again... I was in my early 20's. I made so many mistakes with you. Today I realized I made those mistakes when I observed behaviors that proverbial broken kids engage in as coping mechanisms. My new teaching job is in a treatment facility for "disturbed" adolescents. Before I improve their lives by teaching them crucial academic skills it is pertinent that I influence them to behave healthy. A co-worker told me that the first year we learn about them, after that we learn about ourselves. Regret, if I would have done somethings differently decades ago we could be a family now. I could have a son. Maybe in another dimension we are a happy family. In this one today and hopefully tomorrow I am molding myself by choice into a better man. I love you for that Katrina.

I get from my maternal great grandparents Mattie Honea and Richmond Byrne. When I was a child my mother and grandmother were my greatest encouragers for my creative works. Using the name also reminds me that I have a responsibility to make them proud and represent them well.

I got held back in the first grade. I have a learning disability. I have been writing since 1st grade. I graduated college in my thirties. I am an army veteran (Mortuary Affairs). I am a certified teacher. I have been teaching children with disabilities for almost a decade. I am very shy around women. I learned to play "The Blues" in Clarksdale Mississippi. I have around 10 e-books I have written on the internet.

I was taught many years ago through Tony Robbins "Get The Edge" that it is important to use the words but, however and other transitional words carefully because these words typically when used contradict the meaning of what is said. Examples used quite often include "I would do anything to help you, but this time you have to help yourself." "Your very pretty tonight, however that dress makes you look fat." "I love you dearly, but the way you are acting is unacceptable." "Time has run out, fortunately the clock was broke."

It is defeatist to say "I'm sorry" most of the time. Consciously, count the number of times someone and yourself says "sorry" in one day. The word is disempowering in that it fuels false guilt, and doesn't require amends to correct what you have done wrong to another person. It also gives a person a feel sorry for me mentality. I have found that most of the time "sorry" can be replaced by "pardon me" and "excuse me."

At times I find myself feeling good when I fantasize about things I want, and things I want to do. Yet once that fairy tale dream comes to focus in reality I find myself disappointed that I have not taken action. Therefore, it is utmost important that I take physical action toward achieving my goals.

yes-AND quite evident in all horror movies. So ridiculous with plots that center around resentments. Examples: a school built on an Indian Burial Ground and the ghost want revenge for being treated harshly in life, a demon possessing the living because it hates God, or the ghost that haunts the house because it was murdered there and wants everyone miserable. Even many religious doctrines of the devil are based in resentment. Like the Christian devil that is resentful against Jehovah for not giving him more power. A meaning for ghost that I have invented is choosing to be a haunted by your unfavorable memories so much that you manifest tangible proof.

The greatest joy in teaching is when the role is reversed through sincere self-less service and disciplined methodologies I learn from those I teach. One valuable lesson is that when things don't go the way I planned-I am quick to define a meaning which is self-centered and imposes another's serenity and inevitably my own. A universal example is when someone says or does something, "She did that to make me feel bad." "He said that to hurt me." It is a mistake to rationalize why someone does a particular action because I have not selflessly allowed that person to be who they are. When I rationalize what might be and what could be I am not making the most out of "the great now."

Today was day 3 of week 2 of working my day job at an institution for troubled teenage girls. During my spare time I started reading a book that my Army PDSD counselor gave me, "Man's Search For Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. In this work his whole premiss is synonymous with a quote from Nietzche:"He who has a Why to live for can bear any How." I first heard about this book when I did Tony Robbins "GET THE EDGE." It deems appropriate to me now as I learn more about myself and about life in general by observing behaviors and actions.

I make it a point to work out in Public as opposed to being in my apartment. When I run in town and workout in a gym I am releasing feel good chemicals in my brain, can have intrinsic proof of improvement, and have left a positive impression to those who see me working out.

The Ruffer Drafting: Recently, I took a job teaching in Arizona. I have no friends or family here. I took the job to go on adventure. Of course, my main goal in life is to make enough money from my creative works so I won't need a day job. To accomplish that goal I have decided to write a page a day, type a page a day, and promote on youtube, and social networks. At the top of every page I write notes to myself (will get into that more later). I work out about 4 to 5 times a week, and make it a point to go sight seeing, take footage. I continue to be inspired by what I have created myself to be...