100 Love Letters I'll Never Send (like Bob Dylan said, "Join the army if you fail.") (c) 2017

1998-1999

like Bob Dylan said, "Join the army if you fail."

When I entered the room family and friends would talk about me in bad way. They figured I was too far gone to know they were talking about me. My parents had their flaws. One thing they did do right was put a sense of pride in myself. Most of the other things they taught I had thrown away-I didn't lose things I gave them away.

I think it was pride that said to me, "You can do better than this."
Yea, waiting on you to come back I drank and drugged. Then being drugged and drunk became me. It's not your fault. I did it to myself. I wish I could take back all the things I said when I would call you.

 At first my parents were giving me money on the condition that I passed college. I flunked out and they cut me off financially. I couldn't find a job because I left a terrible impression. I had to work for temporary job services doing manual labor.

My father suggested that I join the army. After about a year of not having a job I went into the US Army. I didn't want to mess up being in the army. In my mind I told myself that maybe you would come back if you saw I was stable and being responsible. We could have a family. I could do you right.

They sent me to South Korea.

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