100 Love Letters I'll Never Send (The Test part II) (c) 2017

In her office she tells you, “Sit down.” She proceeds to look at your questionnaire and verifies some of the information. Then she goes through other papers. Ten minutes have passed. She puts the papers away and says, “The results of your H.I.V. std tests were…”

The look she gave you at the beginning indicated dread. What must it be like for this nurse? Does she have kids at home? Does she treat them differently after giving tests all day? I bet she is very strict on her kids. Bet she’s married to a guy she dated for years. I bet they take their kids to little league. Bet they go to bible study, church on Sunday and all that. Wish I would have done something different. Wait, what if she’s got some std too. Forget her, what about me. How am I going to tell you about it? A tear streams down my eye. To hell with it. I don’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss. Life is about being happy.

 “The results of the test are negative. There are free condoms on the counter by the door.”

“Okay.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

100 Love Letters I'll Never Send Pt 2 (Inside Your Shadow) (c) 2022-2023

  I work in one of the biggest and the tallest buildings in town. It’s quite a sight to see looking out the windows on the top floor. Even more so on the flat roof top. You can see the entire city below. Imagine that. I look forward to bringing you here. We could have a picnic on the roof top. I’ve got a big house too.               He dared not tell the truth, that he had just bought the house about four days prior. Moved in new furniture Setting everything in place. Like the state of the art refrigerator with two silver doors that were bigger than that closet in the apartment that they lived in Wiggins.He had an expensive China dishes in a glass cabinet in the kitchen. It was in a special place, just so that when she came to the kitchen that would be the first thing she would see. Maybe she would remember, and know that he was different, than that time they were in the thrift store. Her mother bought the second hand utensils, and dishes. He was so oblivious of everything. Didn’t ev
Read more

100 Love Letters I'll Never Send part 3 (Inside Your Shadow) (C) 2022-2023

 “Dude, look at the way you live Like in a hovel,” his friend Carlton told him about a year ago. At that time, he was living in a two-bedroom apartment. “…that’s more like a compartment. You really think you gonna attract any kind of female?” “What about you, living in that tin can?” Tin can was what he called Carlton’s trailer home. Carlton always seemed to have the right answer, “I don’t really care dude. You’re the one always talking about being alone.” Carlton said. Then took a sip of his beer. He had cleaned up a little bit. That meant that he just moved the biggest things into a spare room so that no one could see the mess. Carlton always knew about the coolest movies to watch. There was just one picture on his wall. It was of James Dean with one of his quotes in all big letters “Dream like you’ll live forever; live as though you’ll die today.” They were sitting on the couch that should have been thrown away years ago. “Check this out,” Carlton said as they watched “Pulp Fictio
Read more

100 Love Letters I'll Never Send (Neediness, emotional blackmail and such isn't conducive to a happy productive life.) (c) 2017

Mid 2017: (c) 2017 I have subjected myself to needless misery. In the past I have taken everything as personal insult. Why? I think I did it to protect myself from being hurt. Not too long ago, I criticized online dating. Now that I am on an online dating site I think I have broken through lies I have told myself. I wonder if anyone else has told themselves these lies: There's no one out there for me. Why does this always happen to me? Girls won't like me once they know the real me. I am discovering that people need people. I am going out with several different women and realize it's not a personal jab if we don't meet again. All it means is we just don't mesh well. I must look at women like I would friends. Neediness, emotional blackmail and such isn't conducive to a happy productive life. When I told myself such lies I acted out on them. Thus came a self-defeating life style. My mind enacted my actions; to become the lies I had told myself. How do I
Read more