Music score by Encrement and honea byrne © 2010, 2015___
_______________________________________________________________________________
He declined, saying he couldn’t afford it. Yet, he could afford the drugs he was using. Fifty dollars in gas and about fifty dollars in food are cheaper. The memories and empowerment are priceless.
Ain’t nothing kewl about
being crazy,” I emphasize to my students quite often. It is not gewd to
perpetrate fraud of being a ‘bad ass.’ When I started getting
institutionalized with the, “I don’t belong here,”
it wasn’t kewl at all. Ain’t kewl being paranoid, hearing/seeing things that
aren’t there, and going through severe mood swings for hours that warp my
perception of time. Ain’t kewl getting out of being institutionalized and then
going back to the work place, etcetra etcetra etcetra. It’s expensive as well,
even with insurance it cost around $1500. To empower myself I decided to do my
best to not get locked away on a “Psycho Holiday.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTDj-I8LiXM Therefore, I had to do
what I needed to do. A big part of that is taking my crazy pills like I should.
As well as, apllying spiritual principles to my life. Took that saved money and
would take trips. The first one was to Mexico. Then I went to Arizona, in the Summer
of 2011, to hang with the Hopi tribe.
Was around 2010 when the
theory of the end of the world was coming due to the Mayan calendar ending
on December 21, 2012. Around June, I was on the North Rim working on my
eleventh step-thus I documented, vlogged, my adventure as The
11th Arizona. Link 11th stepprayer.
On the plane ride there I
was tempted by seeing a soldier drinking. Reminisced times when I would do
that. Was kewl being an adult and getting wasted-it
was legal. elegantly wasted. On the way back to Kosovo,
after putting Popa in the ground, I drank four beers in a German airport
at the McDonalds, “Sir, you’re too drunk to get on this flight.” They let me on
regardless, “John Crowder, please identify yourself to the flight attendant.”
Made that phone call to
Cliff, a friend in the rooms. He saved me. On a smoke break in Texas I
met another friend of Jimmy K. She was fresh out of rehab.
Got to Phoenix, caught up with a
mutual friend of Charles and mine, Tim Jeezik. Invited him to go with me to the
Hopi Lands. He declined, saying he couldn’t afford it. Yet, he could afford the
drugs he was using. Fifty dollars in gas and about fifty dollars in food are
cheaper. The memories and empowerment are priceless.
Took me about eight hours
to get to cracked roads in between high hills. The winds hissed and the only
lighting was from God’s Night Eye, the moon, silhouetting shadows
on the peaks. In my sleep deprived state of mind I knew that spirits of
warriors were watching me. Parked across from the Hopi museum, in a field.
Slept in the rental car. Took me till mid day, after asking and exploring, to
find The Prophet Rock.Explaination of Prophet Rock When I got there a Hopi woman and her husband were
there. She was explaining what it all meant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=532-A_wkJjk
From listening to her and
the Hopi woman at the gift shop I found out about the Hopi legend of ‘end
times.’ “A Kachina will come from the heavens. The Kachina will remove its mask
and reveal itself to the ‘chosen people’-The Hopis.http://www.welcomehome.org/rainbow/prophecy/hopi1.html Astronomically,stars were
making that theory true https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MfpWDP_xyM
The ‘chosen people’ believe
that they started off as bugs. Then they evolved into animals; then into animal
people, then into humans. Such was evident by the writings on the walls of the
tall hills that I found by accident. video of the writing on the walls here A car passed by several times. Was
probably a Hopi Chief making sure that I was not desecrating the
‘Writings on the Wall,’ like so many whites did their, “I love you Mary Jane.” I learned also that at the Prophet Rock outsiders were discouraged. Many come
with their relatives ashes to spread.
Took footage of almost
everything. Out of respect I didn’t take footage of their ‘Rain Dance.’ Didn’t
want Maasawu who is Massawu read it here. I did take footage on a dirt road outside the village. Was
very moved there when the radio played Pink Floyd’s Wish
You Were Here. That
song was one of David’s favorite https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofnfwUuzka0 Lost David to the lightning on May 31,
1999. The winds howled and shook the car-hurricane force like winds we experience
on The Mississippi Gulf Coast. On my way out of Mesa (exact
place) I saw what I thought was an ancient Hopi ruin. Theatrically, I filmed
filmed myself running to it. video of me running to that rock When I got there it was just a huge rock that
had endured from the time when the sea covered it. There were strange broken
pottery pieces around with glow sticks.
Spent two days traveling
around the Grand Canyon’s south rim. Met a Hopi artist. Somewhere in
our conversation we spoke about recovery, especially the Eleventh Step, He told
me my spirit animal is a wolf. Bought a postcard from him that had a drawing of
the number 11 and the wolf. link to pic
I was on a mission, just
like I was in Mexico, to find a pair of sandals . Drove a lil up North found a store. Went
inside. Quickly, became engaged in a conversation with the store clerk. He gave
me a lot of inside information on how the whites were still raping the land.
Greatly, addressed in this video me buying sandals and video on conspiracies .
Two hours later I made it
to Hogan Arizona and bought some Huaraches inside a
museum. Outside of this museum there are signs that spiritually explain the
meanings of the directions North, South, East, and West. video on explanations of North, South, East, and West here
Then I went to the North
Rim. Stayed the day and worked on finishing my 11th step. video of North Rim Realized one of my biggest challenges is learning to make new friends (living
with those around me). Quite often I make up fictional situations in my mind as
of why I didn’t associate more with people, “They will reject me if I let them
know me.” Then those thoughts manifest into my perceptions of situations. It is
indeed, False evidence appearing real. funny Gary Busey on fear
I made my way back to Phoenix,
feeling a bit overwhelmed to be back in society. Went by a Mexican thrift store
to get groceries and found La Santisima Muerta explanation of La Santisima Muerta. Read the prayer and found it
peculiar that it placed Jesus in a position of being a punisher to
make the person obedient; as if training a pet. video i did inspired by La Santisima Muerta When I returned to Clarksdale,
my Chevrolet Cavalier broke down in my drive way.
Comments
Post a Comment