Notes Byrning L (Being jobless and chasing The Shadow Demon) © 2015

Summer 2013

When I left Clarksdale I thought I would be able to get a job teaching in my home town easily. I was not able to. Therefore, I went to Arizona.  In hind sight it was a blessing to face my shadow demon.

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At one of my first interviews, a particular principal thought greatly of my step father. He told me he was ninety percent sure I’d be hired. Had about ten interviews along the Gulf Coast and New Orleans. Spent about an hour a day on the web filling out applications and sending e-mails. My new sponsor; I always choose one close to where I live, kept me straight. Told me that one time he spent two hours a day searching for jobs, “Searching for a job is your job now.”

In late July, I started  getting nervous. I had gotten no calls.

Then I got a call from Bay St. Louis. All seemed to be going well at the interview until they asked me about my first principal. The principal, from my first teaching job, who forced me to resign. I got very angry, “I don’t know. Why don’t you ask him?” The principal, at this school in Bay St. Louis, escorted me out quickly. I tried to save face, “Pardon me Sir, Can I continue interview?” “But, he works right down the street.” I was furious. That principal and his goons looked passed my expericne, and my letters of recommendation. During the interview, they were putting Clarksdale down, “That’s the worst area for gangs in the nation. They have an inferior school as well…”

Punks probably spent their whole teaching career in a cushion job in “pretty white land.”

In the Mississippi Delta there are not as many resources that benefit the community as there is on the Coast. They’ve probably never had to create a lesson plan on the spot, in seconds. The system is totally twisted. If a school does well on state standardized test, ushering in a global teaching system, they get all sorts of money. If a school does poorly on these culturally biased test they get money taken away.

I was so nervous about listing that principal, who forced me to resign, on my references. Figured it was incriminating. Figured they’d find out any way if they used the internet. My sponsor, in Clarksdale, suggested strongly that I be honest, “I have three felonies on my record. I got a good job.” Yea, he’s got a job in a drug rehab facility. Therefore, I decided to leave it on my references.

I had an interview in North Gulfport, Harrison County. It was totally patronizing. I was furious and felt rejected. Once again my home town treated me like a wet food stamp, “Teaching is a hard job…” The Harrison County Special Education Director explained. That was insulting. She called me about the interview a week prior. In that week, I had studied the Harrison County School District. Obviously, she didn’t even take the  time to look at my credentials.

Even went by Kelly Temporary Job Service, to be a substitute teacher.

August came, it was very apparent that I wasn’t going to get a phone call. I watched on the local news, at Grandma’s, about the first day of school.

I remember before I went into the Army (1995-96), I used to walk the streets, after pulling an all nighter, begging for jobs. All I could get was Multi-Temps Temporary Employment. They used to send me to clean up the Coast Coliseum all night.

Joined the US Army Reserves to get my life right (1997). Came back got my Associates Degree. Expected Multi-Temps to put me on substitute teaching. After all, they put one of my childhood friends on a substitution gig and he had two driving under influence charges. Or so I thought. Nope nope no they put me back on clean up at the Coast Coliseum. Even put me on janitorial service for Coast school districts.

Once again in 2013, they rejected me, even with my almost a decade worth of teaching experience. Tried my best to get all the angst out through extreme physical exercise routines. Started taking supplements of Animal Stack with a testosterone booster called Erase. Man that stuff gave me rages. Feeding my anger. Did a 5k, beat a physical education teacher at Gulfport High. That felt good. 

I did have more time to spend with good friends; especially Charles. Inspired him and Tim Jeezik (he came back from Arizona) to do open mics at the Ocean Springs Julep Room. charles and tim performing

I do fathom being illogical, with my anger. Manufactured in my mind. Thus manifested through my actions. Caused me to be unattractive to would be employers.

I did continue creating videos of music and workouts. workouts by me Started working more on my e-book Going Educational.  purchase here for .99 cents Weeks back I had been inspired by a friend of mine in Clarksdale talking via skype with Charles. ...missing text...

One day I was going through my step-father’s movie collection. I found Billy Jack and became inspired; especially from The Trial of Billy Jack. He had a scene in the movie where something known as “The Shadow Demon” video 

This thought that Billy Jack addressed was when ever we get upset with others we are actually upset with ourselves. This mirrors the AA 12 and 12 text, "It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule?" People have more power than they know when they apply this principle to their lives

I reminenced when I found out what the spiritual meanings of the four different directions were when I went to Arizona video meaning of directions four directions meaning This led me to start looking for teaching jobs in Arizona. Perhaps Arizona was my fate. I did say, “If I don’t make it in the Gulfport I’ll go to the West Coast.” Charles had been telling me for years to go to Los Angeles to do my thang’. Said Gulfport was no good.

Via internet, I filled out ten applications. One that caught my attention was Mingus Mountain Academy. It is an impatient facility for troubled teenage girls, that includes a school. The students rode horses. Wow!

Weeks back, I had worked on a promotional video for Fearless (Instruction Guide On How To Be A Superhero. promotional vid for "Instructions On How To Be A Superhero" The main character Johnny Walker Knight, a Special Education teacher by day/ crime fighter by night, was in a moral dilemma. The crux was in the philosophy, “These behaviors aren’t who they really are.” It takes many emotional barriers, done sometimes daily, for me to take ownership of this philosophy. To save the children is to save myself. First time I took ownership was in Richmond Morgue, assisting in autopsies (US Army). Saw first hand what happens when bad behaviors are manifested into bad actions.

Took this thought to the interview that was on Skype with Mingus Mountain Academy. Got hired within fifteen minutes after the interview.